Tekken summary

In English for my international friends:

Tekken – In the post-apocalyptic future of 2039, the world has gone to shit, and 8 companies have divided up the world between them. These companies are known as Iron Fist. The mightiest of these are the Tekken Corporation, which operates out of Tekken City. It is a poverty-stricken city ruled by Heihatchi (played by Shang Tsung) and his son Kazuya Mishima (pronounced Mishii-ma), the streets are full of «Jacks»; police with assault rifles and kendo masks.

In this city, Jin Kazama makes money by doing runs for The Resistance, who are some long-haired guys who interrupt radio broadcasts and like to listen to «real music», Linkin Park or something similar, I can’t tell. Anyway, they’re not referenced again after a «jackhammer strike» where Kazuya (a guy who looks like an Italian mobster with a donut beard) personally shoots the resistance guys. This whole sequence is interspersed with Jin having sex with his girlfriend. In the same attack the house of Jin’s mother Jun is blown up by a missile.

Jin goes through his mother’s possessions that were not blown to bits for some reason, and finds an old invite to the Tekken tournament, which she had warned him to never get involved with. So obviously he goes to an open call for fighters, and gets into the tournament by beating Marshall Law, a muscular asian MMA fighter who reportedly «defeated Paul Phoenix in 28 seconds» (because fuck that guy, who wants to see him in a movie).

Blablabla, first round of the tournament, and Eddie Gordo loses against Raven, who is not played by Wesley Snipes. In the second round Jin beats the crap out of Miguel Rojo in a rage, and then cheats on his girlfriend (who is repeatedly shown in the slums cheering for Jin by a large outdoor screen) with MMA fighter Christie Monteiro, played by a skinny white woman. For being a whore, he is attacked by Nina and Anna Williams, dressed as ninjas.

The next day Christie fights Nina Williams, and yes, they actually had the actress wear that crazy purple outfit. Christie wins, and Jin fights Yoshimitsu, who looks pretty good! Jin is given a naginata since it’d be silly if Yoshimitsu was the only one with a weapon.

During the fight Kazuya realizes the ratings for the show increase when it looks like Yoshi will kill Jin, so he has him do so. Heihatchi, who is an honorable man, opposes this, but is taken prisoner by some Jacks. He still manages to distract Yoshimitsu by pulling the alarm, giving Jin opportunity to smash his face in with his new long studded gloves he got from his trainer, ex-Tekken fighter Steve Fox.

The remaining fighters are detained and Kazuya tells them the new rules: To advance to the next round, they have to kill their opponent. Jin decides they should escape so noone gets killed. He promptly steals an assault rifle and starts shooting guards. Jin also finds out Kazuya raped his mother, Steve is killed, the fighters are recaptured, and Kazuya has a Jack execute Heihatchi off-screen. <_<

Next round of the tournament, Bryan Fury (kickboxer B-movie star Gary Daniels) kills Sergei with a spiked chain, and Kazuya has Fury fight Jin, who is able to beat the cyborg by the power of flashbacks. Kazuya immediately attacks him with two axes, and is about to kill him when Christie creates a distraction, reprising the end of the Yoshimitsu fight. Jin then doesn’t kill Kazuya for some reason, and Christie declares Jin the winner of the Tekken tournament. Which is weird because she only got to fight once and that’s not how a tournament works.

The movie then ends with Jin going back to the slums and getting saluted by the Jacks, then a voice-over from Christie explaining Jin’s victory made his name synonymous with hope, but the Tekken story is just beginning.

Still, this was a much better movie than both Legend of Chun-Li and the animated Tekken one.

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